ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
