STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
you made out with another girl for some wings
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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