So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
