and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
