remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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