so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
