everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
So vagazzling was a success
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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