I smell stomach acid.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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