you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
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