I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
