Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
