He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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