How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize