no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
