You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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