I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
