Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
