you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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