how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
