one two three fourrrrnication!
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize