How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
