Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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