I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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