drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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