Are we in a gay sports bar?
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
