they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize