she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
