Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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