I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
wow bdsm is so cute
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