Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize