Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
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