I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
