you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
it hurts more in the daytime
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
