Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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