I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize