You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Randomize