Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
