Your face is a jimmy john
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
