literally had 100 drinks last night.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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