dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
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