By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
