So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
