you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
