dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
