Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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