my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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