Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
It's shark week go big or go home
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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