dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
