I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
We have started to decorate penises.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize