I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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