Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
