We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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