google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize