i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
