is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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