dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
