IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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