just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
