We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
