Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
