haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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