i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
