we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
My vagina is officially offended.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
