No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
