...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
