dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
