He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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