see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize