things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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