His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
no you cant smoke seaweed
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize
