i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
