dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
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