You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
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