I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Randomize
