everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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