I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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